Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Police reopen Gore investigation
While global warming falls in July, the former Veep denies the allegations


PORTLAND, OR—In a shocking turn of events, Portland police have reopened the assault case against former Vice President Al Gore, whom is accused of "unwanted sexual contact" in 2006 by a masseuse. Randall Vogt, the accuser’s attorney originally schedule her for a police interview, but she cancelled it, reportedly because friends had talked her out of pursuing charges.

Rumor has it, the masseuse—a Clinton/Gore and Obama/Biden supporter—was convinced in part by one girlfriend not to go forward because Al Gore was the only hope of stopping global warming.

The former Vice President admits that he was in contact with the masseuse but adamantly denies her account of trying to proposition her for sex. A spokeswoman for the Gores released a statement saying, "The Gores cannot comment on every defamatory, misleading, and inaccurate story generated by tabloids. Mr. Gore unequivocally and emphatically denied this accusation when he first learned of its existence three years ago. He stands by that denial" and went on to say the reopening of the investigation will “only benefit Mr. Gore.”

Al Gore has largely been out of the spotlight since the Climategate scandal first broke. Gore and his wife Tipper separated after 40 years of marriage and an affair was rumored. This investigation is not Gore’s only public dilemma, last week; New Hampshire recorded a July snowfall and Dr. Michael Mann said his hockey stick graph should not have become the icon of global warming.


-- Killswitch Politick



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